Andie.ink

There is a new crib sitting on my front porch.

If we were pregnant, you would be excited for us.

But because we are choosing to increase our chaos through foster care,

we are instead told we are crazy.
People give us strange looks with tilted heads and squinted eyes.
They lean back.
Family members are already indicating they think we will fail.
They ask us questions like, “Why would you ruin the perfect family you have now?” as if loving another child could ruin it.

 

Well.

 

Consider us pregnant.

Consider us expecting…

We are growing love in our hearts.

We are growing our family, whether they stay or not.

We are growing hope for children AND their parents.

We are teaching our current children what love looks like through giving more than what you feel you have to give.

We are sacrificing to love children who will come to us filled with trauma and potential deficits.(That’s gunna be REALLY hard. I know that.)

We are standing with parents who have experienced trauma themselves and saying:

“YOU CAN do this.”

I’m not pregnant, but I am expecting.

 

I’m expecting pain.

I’m expecting frustration.

I’m expecting late nights, middle of the nights and early mornings.

I’m expecting that we won’t know what to do.
I’m expecting to continue to feel really scared.
I’m expecting to mess up.

I’m expecting to feel angry at the parents, the family, the judge, the social workers, my husband, my own kids,

and my own self.

I am also expecting to fall in love with a child who I will have to part ways with.

I’m going to be a Foster Mom.

And there is a brand new crib sitting on my front porch.
In a few weeks it’s going to be filled with a strange small creature who is

 

Broken.

Scared.
Traumatized.
Alone.

Angry.

Sad.

Hurting.

Etc.
and I’m going to be responsible for loving it.
Whether I feel love or not.I don’t expect you to be excited for me.
I’m not excited for me.

But change doesn’t happen through telling people they are crazy.
Change happens when people invite crazy into their lives.
Change happens when those people are supported.
When the people around them say,
“YOU CAN do this.”

You don’t have to be excited for us.
But I beg of you… just like if we were pregnant,

be supportive.
Offer your advice if you feel qualified.
Offer your time if you have it.
Offer your cooking if you make a mean casserole.
Offer childcare for date nights to let us recharge.
Offer kind words.
Offer a prayer if you believe.
Offer hugs and handshakes.
Offer a smile instead of a judgemental look.
Offer love even if you don’t feel it.Change takes place when we come together as a community.
When we build relationship off the foundation of action

instead of emotion.

Brokenness takes place when people are told they are crazy.
Change doesn’t happen when people do nothing.

There is a brand new crib sitting on my front porch…