I’ve done it.
I’ve cracked the code to parenting.
With this ONE key to parenting, I can solve all your parenting problems and change the way you parent for the better.
I WAS going to charge just 10 small monthly installments of $19.99 to share this information with you. Instead I put aside my want for financial gain and put the children first.
* Looking for references for my sainthood. Please PM me.
I’ve been a parent for 6.5 years and have been an involved Auntie for 14.
My children are all developmentally stable and have recently passed their yearly physicals.
I also have started my Masters in Counseling… OK I did one semester in 2013.
(Two out of three of my classes were Statistics and AP Writing.)
I am a certified Foster Parent and therefore know all the Federal laws about raising children.
My children ate vegan for 6 months and attend a school of choice.
My 2 year old has placed in the advanced level of negotiation tactics with the FBI.
Clearly, I am well qualified to be telling other parents the secrets to being a good parent.
With all these different ways of parenting and so many rules as to what we are and are not allowed to do these days, parenting can feel as though you are drowning in a wave pool because your bikini top* got sucked into the filter.
* Or speedo, I’m not forcing a gender stereotype on you. (That’s another rule in parenting if you didn’t know that yet).
There is Helicopter parenting, Free Range parenting, Authoritative parenting, Attachment parenting, Permissive parenting, T.V. parenting, Smother parenting, Cool Parent parenting, My-Kids-Are-Better-Than-Yours parenting, PTA Parent parenting, SAHM Coffee Addict Parenting, Walmart Pajama parenting, Political Activist parenting, Extracurricular Extraordinaire parenting…
With so many options as to how to parent these days how are we supposed to know which category we belong to and just what our gang colors are? Who is our rival parenting category, what’s the plan to take them down and do we wear pink on Wednesdays?!
So… that’s it. I’ve had enough.
I’ve opted out and I have spent these past few years trying to develop a way of parenting that delivers my soul from this hell of modern standards, social media and Mom Bloggers A way of parenting that rises above and casts out all fear!
A way of parenting that leads me NOT into temptation and delivers me from evil!*
*If you feel offended by these last few sentences, you are probably part of the Religious Parenting style or the Offensive Millennial parenting style. Please keep reading to discover how you too can free yourself from being offended and enter into a life of being able to breath.
Again… I could be charging for this.
But the children…
So, after all this build up and and anticipation would you like to hear what the key to parenting is?
I’ll tell you but for legal reasons*, I do want to remind you that this information is free of charge and if you choose to continue reading, it is of your own accord and I am not responsible nor liable for the results or consequences anyone encounters in their or their children’s lives due to the gaining of this knowledge.
*I am working on a waver that you will need to download and sign.
Here it is:
*drum roll please*
The Key to Parenting is:
Kids are who they are.
That’s it. It’s that simple.
Each child on this earth already is who they were intended to be. It’s written in their DNA.
Parents with more than one child know this, but we tend to forget it. We see the differences in our kids, but we forget to take that very simple rule into account in our own parenting.
As a child I was always SO confused at how my parents handle my younger sister and I.
We never had the same rules or consequences and a common phrase that daily could be heard resounding our rooms was, “BUT SHE DIDN’T GET THAT!”
I know. You are thinking that if children are left to themselves that mayhem would arise and it would end Lord of the Flies style.
Yes. You are correct.
There would be Piggys’. *
* If you don’t understand this reference, please head down to your nearest local book store, purchase Lord of the Flies and read. If you are an actual parent reading this, rent the movie. You don’t have time to read. But you do have time to fall asleep to a black and white movie from the 50’s.
This doesn’t mean kids can raise themselves. Basic psychology teaches that each child NEEDS rules and guidance and that they actually CRAVE it.
That’s not what this Key to Parenting is about.
This one little nugget of info is more about YOU then them.
If you as a parent can accept that your child is what they is… I mean are. Imagine what that does for you.
No matter what style of parenting you lean towards or if you are a hodgepodge of all of them, this key releases you into the freedom that each of us is battling the SAME battle.
We are just trying to guide our children into an adult that isn’t the person who they create warning labels for.
However we choose to parent our children doesn’t matter.
Accept the freedom of trying to force your child into any mold these parenting styles demand you create and just spend time enjoying each child for who they are and their different needs.
My two oldest sons are CONSTANTLY in competition. They’ve asked me before and will ask again who I love the most.
I tell them this:
“There are many different types of Ice Cream. There is Chocolate, Vanilla, Superman, Batman (Cookies and Cream), Strawberry etc… Each one tastes different, but all Ice Cream is YUMMY. Just like Ice Cream, people come in different flavors, but ALL flavors are good.”
Accepting that my goal is not to force, poke, prod, smoosh, cram, and beat my child into a mold society demands, my goal is to help guide each of my individual children into the person hood they already have within themselves.
The Key to Parenting.
May the odds ever be in your favor.