Generational Gap

One thing we can guarantee in life is death and taxes… and change.

Change is certain. Times change. Fashion changes. Political parties change. Seasons change. Science changes. Research changes. Families change. Our location changes. How bodies change. Generations change.

But what doesn’t change in each generation is that we impact the next generations based on the information we have available to us at any given time. I believe that any good parent can understand this. We know how we parented our first child is not how we parented our last child.

As new information, education, research, and voices become available to us, we as human beings need to calibrate ourselves and our beliefs accordingly. A good human won’t stay stuck. A good human will keep their hearts and minds open to new and incoming information continually processing and calibrating our internal ethical measuring systems. Part of this calibrating means we have to go back and rectify where we went wrong. It may not be our fault. We may just not have known. But wether intentional or not, we need to make amends with those we have harmed based on new information.

Birth parents: Did you truly believe that you were the hero? Did you really think adoption was the better option? Do you understand now that trauma was done to your child? Do you know adoptees are four times more likely to commit suicide?Adoptive Parents: Did you not know your child had trauma? Did you not know your Transracial and/or International adoptee needed their cultures? Did you not know we were not blank slates? Did you not know our brains require genetic mirroring?Adoptees:Did you not know you had trauma? Did you not know your trauma hurt those around you? Has your adoption story hurt your own family or friends? Did you know your attachment style and trauma affect your parenting?We need to show up for the generations after us we have affected. We need to calibrate when we take in new knowledge.
We need to own our own and apologize.

Let me make it very clear: Generational gaps in knowledge doesn’t excuse you from apologizing to those you have harmed.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: