Over Dramatic

My whole life I have been called “over-dramatic.” (As healed adult I can see there was some truth there. I am a Sagittarius, enneagram four, extrovert, comedian who has a slight bend towards attention seeking behavior.)
I have also been called a prophet. A truth teller. A no bullshitter. A “call it like it is” person. I’ve been called real and raw.
As I grow, heal, and connect with other adoptees and those who have experienced childhood trauma, I realize that “over-dramatic” was a gaslighting term used to silence our ability to see truth that those around us were/are not ready to face within themselves. This is why prophets and truth-tellers find themselves called “black sheep” or “over-dramatic.”This is why Jesus was rejected by his very own. Today I know a lot of us want to scream, “I TOLD YOU SO!” I’ve been receiving DM after DM with stories of grief as the family truth-tellers are being blacklisted, ostracized, discounted, excluded, gaslit, or all together ignored by their own families. SO many adoptees adopted by white evangelicals are facing rejection, abandonment, and disconnection. SO many have now lost not one set of parents, but two.
The internet has done something wonderful. It has allowed us to connect, to be awakened, and it has exposed what prior generations where trying to hide when they called us “over-dramatic.” The internet turned the light on in the dark recesses of America. It has given those of us who were called “over-dramatic” credibility.
It also has left the generations prior, who worked so hard to silence, exposed.
I don’t have perfect answers for all of you who’ve come into my DMS in grief because you are re-living the trauma of abandonment. We shouldn’t have to walk through this again. It’s unjust. Adoptees are living the reality that adoption is not restorative. But I have this small piece that holds those gaslighting you accountable in grace:Instead of screaming, “I TOLD YOU SO!”, let us turn the tables and ask, “Am I being over-dramatic, or is what I am saying stirring up discomfort within you?” While it may not restore relationships, it’s a healthier response that allows our adult self to protect our child self.

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