I am feeling O.K. and Lately it’s been a gift to be able to say that. Last week I lay in bed trying to survive a body that had shut down in a trauma response. It didn’t want to move. It felt paralyzing. My husband said to me, “ I know this work fulfills you, but I think it’s killing you.”And he is right. It might. And maybe I will try some simple boundaries to protect my heart, but… But I have to keep going. I have to keep fighting. I have to keep waking up and shouldering the burden.
I have to show up.
Because they can’t. Because my people are dying. My people are killing themselves. My people are being attacked. My people are being deported. My people are living in addiction centers and crisis houses and on the streets.
My people are being murdered.
Why. I’m not against adoption. I still believe it can be a good thing for all parties involved. But this industry is killing us. It’s literally lobbying in government to murder us. And our mothers.
Murder you say? Don’t be dramatic Andrea. THIS IS CALCULATED. Literally. On a calculator. The industry is calculating our worth and the worth of our mothers.
And we are dying.
Adoptees are four times more likely to commit suicide. WE have higher rates of addiction. We have higher rates of being diagnosed with mental illness. We have higher rates of PTSD then soldiers. We have higher rates of being homeless. We have higher rates of being oppressed because we are LGBTQ+. We have higher rates of learning disabilities and physical disabilities. And Trauma? Researchers can’t get funding to study Trauma in adoption.
WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IS? Who supplies the money for studies?
So. Today. On the very first Adoptee Remembrance Day.
I sit and hold my community in my hands. Their mothers. Their fathers. Their sisters. Their brothers. Their friends. Their own children. Dear God in heaven. Dear whatever faith is out there listening…
Make it stop.
And bring peace to these families left behind.
Bring peace to the rest of us still here fighting.
Because every day we are still here is a victory.
And we deserve some rest.
So. Everyday I will get up and keep fighting. Until the sirens sound that we are safe.