PHD of Existence

Just how deep does an adoptee's need to justify their existence in the world run? Well. I am currently putting off writing a book to spend over $20,000 a degree that will justify my writing that book. There is not a day that goes by that I don't question my very "being here." There are … Continue reading PHD of Existence

Rejected verses Chosen

I am supposed to be writing a paper on Erikson, Human Development and how it impacts me. Instead the prompts for my paper have me introspecting. Looking at Erikson's stages and which side of the word "verses" I came out on has me digging up pre-natal wounds I was unable to express and came out … Continue reading Rejected verses Chosen

Mother’s Day: If it’s not yours, don’t touch it!

I absolutely don't think I need to explain to adoptees how Mother's Day is a shit show of emotions. Excuse my language... No. Don't. It's a shit show or emotions, baggage, and it's downright a trigger day for all of us. It's a double edged sword. On one hand, many of us have a wonderful … Continue reading Mother’s Day: If it’s not yours, don’t touch it!

Picture Unperfect

I don’t take picture perfect photos because my life isn’t picture perfect. I rarely use filters because I want you to see the imperfections. My entire life was re-routed because some people’s lives needed to look picture perfect. This is why I do Foster Care. Matt and I were slated to do a private adoption, … Continue reading Picture Unperfect


When we thought everything was supposed to be getting better, everything went wrong. We scrambled to fix and mend and find explanations, but nothing was working and our love was dying. Like flower petals that turn inward, shrivel and eventually collapse because the root has died. Our roots had died, and our marriage was showing … Continue reading #LeastQualified

Chalk and Criticism.

Parents, let's not mistake critical peer criticism for bullying. This morning my kids were coloring on their new chalk wall. They decided to collaborate and make a seascape. They divided the wall up into three sections so they each had their own place. I watched them collaborate, share ideas, encourage one and other and share … Continue reading Chalk and Criticism.

Oh My Heart.

I promised many of you that I would update you after this morning's Cardiology appointment. Not so great news first: I do really have Paroxysmal Atrial Fibrillation as well as Tachycardia. (Sometimes people can get heart flutters from things like drinking too much coffee and it's not really A-Fib.) I had an echo cardiogram today … Continue reading Oh My Heart.